As I spend a fair number of thousand kilometers in foreign parts and rue the limitations of Tesla’s roadside empty promises, I bought a 12 V battery from Europarts. Good price as they are having a mid-year sale of sorts. I got a four year warranty which seems to be a lot better performance than the one that Tesla fits that seems to die after two years. Having passed my 3’s second birthday, I thought it wise to gird myself.

The sucker is heavy (being full of lead explains a lot) but a much much lighter drain on the bank balance than a svelt lithium battery.

I also carry a MN23 battery for popping the frunk and a lithium jumper battery just in case I can persuade the OEM 12 volt battery to get me rolling to somewhere convenient apres message of impending doom.

Shown is the Varta I chose: not the cheapest, not the most dear. £77, a hair cheaper than one from the Service Centre (if in stock). Available by Click and Collect.

Yeah, I know I am sapping my efficiency by tenths of a percent by lugging all that kit around but it beats living through the nightmare inflicted on other elements of this hive mind.

Also shown is another example of my low regard for Tesla Roadside (dis)service: a Road Hero spare. It got me back from France one Sunday when neither AA or Tesla CBA.